Sunday, June 28, 2009

Last to know

I was probably one of the last people on earth to find out about MJ's death. I'd been home the last two days recovering from fever and going in and out of sleep at the oddest hours. I'd only slept at 6.30ish am on friday morning as all that medicine and s;eeping had screwed up my sleeping pattern. yes i had gone to sleep as the world woke up to the news of his death.

i got up around 9ish to inform the office i was still on mc and then dozed off again. i usually have the radio on as i drift in an out of sleep and prefer waking to the sound of the radio then to silence.

around 1ish i drop out of sleep to hear MJ on radio 6. Just as I was about to go back to sleep, the words MIchael jacksonin maraivu (the passing of Michael Jackson) and immediately I jumped out of bed to ask my mom did MJ die.

She asked me back the same question.

Frantic for an answer I logged online to read the devastating news. He was really gone, I was so shocked, my idol was gone. A part of my life had been cruelly taken away. All I knew was I had to write a tribute to the man who shaped my musical life, and I frantically searched the net for his photos as I typed my erratic tribute.

Few months ago I had been clearing up my memory drawer, you see I'm a hoarder I collect everything imaginable. and there were my media cut outs off MJ's visit to Malaysia. Yes I still have them and there was no way I was gonna throw them or Galaxie's issue with MJ on the cover.

Since MJ became less popular with the public in the last decade, I stopped talking about him to most people. You see I cannot take anyone criticising the great musician, it would just upset me and a few times I ended up arguing with people about him. Precisely the same reason I never write about him in the blog.

People had forgotten the amazing music he created, the beautiful messages in them, his contribution to children causes. how could people forget We are the world? The once famous anthem for children, is rarely sang anywhere now. I doubt if the younger generation even knows the song. So you don't like him, but 45 different artist sang in that song, a song that's still relevant and beautiful today yet you rarely hear it anywhere.

He was just wacko jacko to everyone, the man with the weird face and nose.

Did anyone ever sit back to remember the life he had, abused by his father, always in the limelight, and pressured to pefection and a family who always made fun of him? Despite that or his insecurities he always sang beautiful songs, that were usually songs filled with joy.

I only have one regret in life. most people would laugh at me or snicker. You see I see all my failures, mistakes or unfortunate events as the fingers that helped mold me as a person. Without them, without having to overcome them I wouldn't be the person I am today. If I could go back in time I wouldn't have changed anything but one thing.

I regret not attending MJ's 1996 concert in Malaysia. Not only was it my SPM trial week, I didn't want to burden my parents with the tickets that cost around RM 200. Dad was still paying for his kidney transplant, and I didn't think it would be fair on them though I don't think I could have convinced dad to let me go.

Now I will never be able to rectify my one regret. It may sound silly to you but not to me. I was telling my friend earlier "let me tell you how obsessed I am with MJ."

i have an MJ test criteria for love. I would never date anyone who hated MJ, they didn't have to love him but they'd have to like him the least. lol

So i don't know how many posts I will end up posting but that's the only way I can deal with grief or any emotion for that matter. According to 2 sources there will be a tribute for MJ at 1 Utama on SUnday. I'm not sure if its at 1pm or 7 pm, both KLUE and The Star have different timings.

The beauty of MJ has been the fact that his fans have been singing and dancing to his tumes all over the world since his passing. So I hoe this tribute materialises and we get a chance to celebrate him here as well.

I still wish this was just a PR stunt. ;(

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