The thing about knowing a lot of people is sometimes you hear information you can neither write about nor share with others. Before the news was broken by the press, I had heard that the child that was found was Nurin.

A month back an 8 year old child went missing after venturing out alone to buy things. She was never found alive as 2 days back a childs body was packaged in a sports bag and placed at a shop. The poor child had gone through immense pain. While the news had shocked the country, it was her photo that was splashed on the front page of NST that had irked me.

Where was the dignity of the child, why do you have to torture her even after her death. There is no need to show her face that way, the bag was enough to stir everyones heart.

But how long will hearts remain stirred? This isn’t the first child to have been murdered so tragically, neither is she the first missing child to have such a fate – it isn’t a first of anything. Children, women, boys will continue to be raped and sodomised coz no action is taken, reactions to such incidents never turn into solid actions, the penalty for sexual offence will never be raised, we will continue to discuss this issue till the next hot issue resurfaces and before we know it Nurin will be a distant memory and yesterdays news.

Actually she’s already yesterdays news, for the next 2 weeks or so, we will have people talking about this, commenting on it , being shocked about it, we will have promises of better rules, better security, or better laws but in more or less 2 weeks everything will be forgotten.

Does anyone remember Audrey Melissa – the teenager who was kidnapped and raped just metres away from her school compound while in her demure school uniform?

Do you know how many women get stalked on a daily basis? How many women who face sexual harrastment from strangers, employers, family and friends? Do you know how many victims remain silent as neither their families, friends nor society will believe them or perhaps even resort to blaming them for dressing up provocatively or for tempting the preparator?

So what was the 8 year old wearing?

Rape is an act of power. Rapists prey on victims who are helpless, demure and rarely someone who is supposedly "provocatively" dressed as they thrive not in the act but in the fear and pain they inflict on their victims.

Someone just said I can't believe this is happening here. My foot!!!! It has been happening here and everywhere forever, there have been silent victims, victims who were never found and victims who were part of yesterdays hot news. Check this link there’s a case right up to 1987 and that’s probably from the writers memory. But what about the rest???

(check the ones marked grey - there have been so many reactions but never actions)

All I can say is look after yourself, always watch your back, always be aware of your surroundings.

Teach the same to your grandma, mother, aunt, sister, niece, grandchild, friends and their friends.

Teach them self defence, teach them to kick where it hurts, teach them to yell

teach them family friends aren’t all gold – there are monsters there as well and that you will believe them and support them if something happens

tell them you will trust them no matter what and that they are more important that society

do not put aside complaints of stalkers or harassments that your loved ones tell you about - it definitely means something.

Teach them that molest or even words is a huge issue and they shouldn’t feel embarrassed to speak out against it

Most of all if you suspect a child being abused or if you see something help or atleast call the authoritys. DO YOUR BIT!!!!



You know whats the irony of all this, you can’t change fate but you can prepare them for the worst and be there for them.

Don’t think it will never happen to someone you know, probably it has already happened to one of them but as statistics show nearly every women has been sexually assaulted in one way or another and most go unreported. So learn how to accept the fact that it can happen, and don’t live in denial.

Unless you can accept that they can never recover.