Thursday, February 22, 2007
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
I have much to say but not the time or the moment - will be away for some time. I have to deal with some changes. So this space is gonna be empty for sometime. Take care I will be back just not anytime soon. Keep me in your prayers coz the sooner I get things settled the sooner I'll be back.
Happy Valentines Day and Happy Chinese New Year everyone.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
not everyone is supposed to be with you till the end - some are part of your journey - very few follow you till the end.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
I always watch this juvenile court show on TV and I've also been reading about general laws that affect children. You will be amazed and then get depressed at the number of adoptions that start out right but end up getting botched. The funny thing is despite how mind blowingly stupid these laws can be people urge you to adopt. I'm not talking about kids put under foster care but parents who sign release forms relinquishing their rights as parents.
Take the case of a single mother who's young and the boyfriend has abandoned her so she decides to give the child away upon birth. She signs of the baby and one find day she can actually come back and claim she made a mistake, was forced to sign the documents under stress, blackmail and before you know it the mother who abandoned her child gets the kid back. Imagine the trauma the child and the adopted parents are put through.
Then there's the bf's who abandoned their gf's upon knowing of the pregnancy or didn't want the child before. They can come back anytime to get the child even if the mother has signed the child away claiming their rights as they didn't sign the parental rights away!
Where the hell were they before this? First they were irresponsible enough to have the child when they were financially un-secure or too young and then they give the child away to make their lives better and suddenly they want the kid back? Why don't these people understand they're messing with the child's emotions by giving and taking the child back as they will?
The poor adoptive parents who brought up the child with love and care and whom are the only ones the child knows suddenly find themselves without the child they love. So why would anyone in their right mind adopt a child if in the future tom dick and harry who didn't want the kid in the first place can cruise in and snatch the child away?
Probably explains why people opt to adopt children from foreign countries. It eliminates the high percentage of losing the child.
While we're at adoptions here's another thing. Did you know according to Malaysian laws abandoned children cannot get a birth certificate without one of the parents names? Which eventually means the child will not be able to attend school?
1. The truth is, it is the parents fault for not drilling into the childs mind - that the child should not sit into an auto till the parents give the word go.
2. If India was unsafe, the child would have never been returned. He did not have to bring back the child and waste his oil on a person who just haggled and refused to purchase his business.
3. The first time the child jumped into an auto before the parents finished haggling was not questioned hence child assumed that's what she was to do so again the parent's are at fault coz you cannot blame a 5 year old.
I understand the feeling of losing a child - I understand the dread - I understand the slip in guard - but in no way is it India's fault. India or any other nation cannot babysit your child for you.
That is precisely why everyone from India is fuming. The moment something goes wrong even if it is your fault you guys (NRI's) are jumping the gun to blame India. I'm very sure it is easy to blame someone else for your slip in action but that doesn't make it right.
No one here is proclaiming the country doesn't have problems it does but it is manageable and though their problems may vary in degree of its severity every nation has similar problems.
Comparing a country who has only had 60 years of independence and 60 years to rebuilt itself from colonial clutches to a nation that has had 230 years to rebuild itself since its independence is absurd. If the 230 year old nation is not developed that it would be a laughing stock.
Yet the 230 year old nation has its problems - people have to relocate to secure good public schools, the number of children in such schools are beyond the recommended capita per classroom, it still has homeless people, while it is helping the world rebuild it has forgotten some of its not so important citizens during their disaster, because of its legal gun touting laws massacre's have occurred at its schools, mugging still happens and so does rape, racisms is still rampant and so is pedophiles. So how is the US safer?
Corruption happens everywhere the only difference in India is it's done openly. You might not have experienced it while getting basic registrations done but try establishing business anywhere and you will realise how similar things really are.
Opportunities are an interesting thing. It will never fall in your lap unless you look for something, it is not going to be given to you on a silver plate. NRI's often tend to complain they did not get opportunities in their own countries however if they had not secured a stable education back home will they have been able to garner jobs or further their studies elsewhere? One of the reasons opportunities are lacking in India are basically because of the huge population and the number of students who excel and qualify for universities. Doesn't that reflect a nations strength? You're also not the only nation facing the same problem, we face similar situations and its not even because of a huge population.
The rule of travel is you learn to adapt to a nation's ways, you learn to enjoy the cultural differences, you learn to accept its misgivings and go with the flow. However here's the problem with NRI's. You are neither an Indian nor a foreigner. You cannot decide which one you are. You are always in limbo on which is your nation. You like the easy living of ur adopted nation but you dislike the culture and hence you remain neither one. You are different from Indians who migrated to different nations 50 years back. They adapted to their adopted nation while still possessing a hold on their culture. They do not see India as their nation but only as the place of birth of their culture.
First decide who you are? An NRI, an Indian or a foreigner? Then act as one.
Ps : touchy post, touchy issue - I don't have a grudge on anyone. I like the family in question but I also think it's unfair to blame a nation for everything.
Pss : I lived in India for 3 months as a 15 year old with my mom whose only been a housewife and a 13 year old younger brother while my dad was undergoing a life threatening surgery in a local hospital. I have seen the extent of corruption and how little the donor finally gets. I could tell you stories of the number of people who tried to rip us of our money because we were foreigners and not their particular caste. We lived alone with neighbours who rarely came out and roamed the unfamiliar streets of Chennai by ourselves - night and day. 12 years back it was still safe for us strangers in a foreign country (though I could live without the stares), and today I would still trust an auto driver more than I would my local taxi driver.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Aravind tagged me so here goes nothing ;)
1. My pottu/ bindi - people actually sit and discuss this ;) I've had at least a 2 minute discussion on it with nearly everyone I know ;)
2. My eyes - you guys already know this - one of the reasons I love them is I believe eyes define a person. Warm eyes, cool eyes, distant eyes - its the eyes that draw you in.
3. I'm a kid - even if I don't have to I'll be jumping around with any kid (the kid is just an excuse) or just jumping around.
4. Music - What can I say, its my favourite topic, I sing I listen - I wake up to music! My life is incomplete without it.
5. I'm a night bird - I can stay awake as long as possible - even if I've only had 2 hours of sleep but I have trouble waking up.
6. I have a bad temper - not many ppl know this but when they do they're really surprised
7. I would do anything - that is legal that is. I'm game to try anything at least once.
8. I love challenges - my life is more exciting when all I get is 3 hours of sleep - I love having to squeeze all my energy to do multiple things and will jump at moving between activities despite the apparent lack of time.
9. I get irritated - when people are discriminative, bigots, egoistic, pushy, love to compare, the use and dispose kind - and I will put them down even if I'm not the victim.
10. I get bored - easily. People, things can bore me very easily so that's why I'm involved with so many things and have very different groups of friends.
Ps : you will notice that I have finally succumbed to word verification - I'll probably take it off soon but for the next few weeks it stays - annon's are killing me!
Friday, February 02, 2007
Yesterday as my friend and I were leaving BC grounds, we decided to go and donate blood. Normally every year I'd tell my mom I wanna donate on the way back but everytime she'll be too tired and I'll decide not to go. I had a fun dr check my blood he was certain my blood group (b* - did you know indians are from this group?) shows I'm aggressive so I tell him oh yeah I do have a temper ;p Its really fun to see the blood drop down into the blue liquid (forgot the name ferum i think - pls correct me). If it sinks it means you have enough hemoglobins and you're clear to donate. After watching so many kavadi bearers getting pierced without a single dot of blood spilling, it was pretty funny to see deep red blood ooze out of my finger in a single prick.
My friend didn't clear it - her blood count was low. Anyway after another 3 steps I got to go be punctured. That's where the fun begins. I'm in the first chair-bed when the nurse preps me up and can't find a nerve on the left arm and I tell her normally its easier on the right. So we change beds and hands. So now she sees a faint one on the right but can't really locate it. In the distance I spy someone who looks like Yogi B while 3 nurses poke into my arm. That very moment a videographer comes by the record everything. The first thing that went through my mind was oh no I spent the whole day taking photos of ppl now its my turn? Yikes! Luckily the nurses already puzzled on where my nerve is also freak out and tells the guy to go away ;p hehe
They finally get one in but it doesn't work and we decide its time for bed no 3! This time they bring in the expert and whatya know they immediately find the vein. And within seconds they're filling the bag. We had a good laugh on the nerve finding experience before they let me be. That's when I confirm that I really did see Yogi B and Natchara. Who else could get a live performance from one of her favourite artist singing her current fav tune while donating blood? Yep they were performing Madai Thirandu and it was an excellent performance ;)
I was still filling the bag when they started signing autographs. As always I did not get one ;) anyway I walk out of the place and realise the right hand was still bleeding so I had to go back and get that one plastered and that's how I ended up with two plasters again! ;p
The best part of donating was I felt more refreshed and relaxed then I normally am after 10 hours in BC. Looks like I'll be doing it again next year ;)
Ps : more stories on bc next week ;)