Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Story tree

Chennaicentral has become story central with a Story tree taggy. Thennavan has tagged me and since I've managed to finish it here you go.

Ah yes besides the tag there's another post below ;)

He thought it would be an ordinary journey. Standing behind the pillar he watched the train snort arrogantly into the station. With each snort he was reminded of his grandfather's words "You will fail in the city and return penniless"; with every heavenward whistle, he heard his cousin, "Don't worry. Come here and I will get you a job at the construction site." Now he had a 34-hour journey to prove one of them wrong, and he expected the excitement at the end of the journey. He looked at his ticket once again: compartment S9 berth 23.

Pushing his luggage under the seat, he sat close to the window. "Papa, when will you be back?" - his four year old daughter Munni asked innocently. He stared into those soft brown eyes of the motherless kid. He held her frail palms in his, through the window. "Munni, Papa will get you a nice gudiya from the city..Say tata," his sister spoke to the kid, to avoid an emotional outburst. In a minute, the train pulled forward, and Munni's little fingers parted from between his. "I need to go..", he thought, "I have to, at least for Munni's sake.."

The humid summer breeze and the rattling train coaxed him into an uncomfortable state of drowsy consciousness. He dreamt that Munni ran away, the closer he ran to her, the farther she was, like a mirage. He woke up with a start and squinted at his watch."What is the time please?"A smallish woman, a meek voice as if she was scared that her existence would annoy someone. Her only noticeable feature was her rather large, expressive eyes."4.30"Something made him look at the woman again. He had stopped noticing women long back. Ever since Meenakshi passed away...

But this woman was different. She reminded him of someone he knew. In an instant he realized who and the painful memories came flooding back. She looked exactly like his childhood sweetheart Madhu. As teenage lovers in a conservative society, they had often met secretly and had declared undying love for each other.

Then someone had found out and all hell had broken loose. The elders in the village Panchayat had ostracized Madhu's family as she was from a lower caste. Unable to bear the humiliation, she had committed suicide by drowning. That was twelve years back...

Could it be? Could it really be him? He seems different, weary and downcast. Oh no will he recognise me? No, I am dead to the world. Still she cautiously wrapped her saree end around her head and across her face. Behind the cotton screen, her mind drifted to happier times, languid strolls in the corn fields, games at the riverbed, his gentle caress, whispered sweet nothings, stolen glances at the temple fair.

Tempted to take one last look, she consoled herself that he wouldn't notice. Slowly she lifted her eyes only to find Rupak staring back at her.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

(Everything below the dashed line above should be copied and pasted with every accepted tag)

This is a Story Tree and is best nurtured as follows:
1. A blogger can add only 90-100 words (not more or less) at a time
2. All previous snippets of 90-100 words need to be copied before the new set of 90-100 words are appended.
3. Each entire snippet should be linked to the respective author (and not just the first sentence or so)
4. Characters, scenes, etc. can be introduced by an author
5. Bizarre twists, sci-fi, fantasy sequences are best avoided.
6. A tag must be accepted within 7 days else the branch is a dead branch
7. After appending 90-100, the Story Tree can be passed on to at most 3 bloggers.
8. If more than 1 branch leads to a blogger, s/he is free to choose any one of them but cannot mix the snippets of the individual branches.
9. The Story Tree is best left to grow than concluded
10. Please attach the image of the Story Tree below with each accepted tag (the link address can be copied and used).


Its supposed to be a chain and I have to tag someone so I am tagging Venkittu Sir, Bawangred and Prabu.

106 comments:

Jeevan said...

Very nice story on train journey.

awakeningcoma said...

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thennavan said...

Visithra, the exact twist that I was expecting you would come up with :-), great build-up. Thanks!

Prabu Karthik said...

Done ma'am
:)

Vijay Ramamurthi said...

kalakkareengo :)

GratisGab said...

Tell us the ending of the story lady! This is cruel!

Art said...

good one :)

Raju said...

Vis, adhu sari.. Madhu died-nu thennavan solrar.. neenga enna last two lines padikkalaiya? Or did you want to give a 180 degree twist? Whatever it be, plz. take the story in the happy direction, guys..

visithra said...

Jeevan : thanks now follow the tracks to see how it ends ;)

visithra said...

ac : comedyah? Will start one after the holis ;p ithu track serial ;p

visithra said...

Thennavan : lol no need for thanks enjoyed doing it ;) glad you like the addition

visithra said...

prabu : yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy i like your addition ;)

visithra said...

Vijay : danks danks ;)

visithra said...

Gratis : I ain't the train master - will have to see where everyones taking it ;)

visithra said...

Art : thanks ;)

visithra said...

raju : read again thennavan said she looks like her - so i did the twist thennavan wanted the exact twist ;) well lets hope its happy ;)

thennavan said...

Visithra, can you make a small change to my portion of the story? It should be "she" reminded "him". I must have been sleeping when I wrote this and realized the flaw only now. I will inform PK also. Thanks.

visithra said...

and it was so interesting we missed it ;) changes done ;)

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