10 years ago, I lost the person who loved me the most – my appa on this very date, 3 days before Deepavalli. I stopped celebrating that year. It wasn’t that hard coz I wasn’t very into it.
But every year he’d make sure I got anything I wanted. Every year I remember I’d delay putting my kolam for Deepavalli as I’d be waiting to watch the annual pre-deepavalli blockbuster. Even post Astro, I think it was a tradition of sorts at every home coz it was always a Rajini or Kamal movie.
So by the time I started one of my elaborate kolam designs, it would be nearly 11 at night. Yet every year he would stay awake along with me as I took hours to finish my kolam, never really complaining.
He’d spend the whole of the next week protecting my kolam from being stepped on. No matter who turned up he’d rush to tell them – watch out for the kolam.
We had another ritual every other year after the morning prayers at the temple, we would leave for a holiday somewhere. My love of travelling was inherited from my father. Which is why nearly every Deepavalli, I’m not here. In one way it is a salute to him in another it’s the best escape from the general gloom I feel around this time. Though I’m sure he’s mumbling from above with all the solo travelling I do.
It’s been a rollercoaster year of highs and lows.
I am who I am today because of his passing but not a day goes by that I didn’t wish he was still around to at least fight with me.
I will be off travelling again with limited internet I think.
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